1 00:00:09,133 --> 00:00:10,333 (Forrest) Previously on Review... 2 00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:12,103 What would it be like to kill a person? 3 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,100 (man) Is he gonna do it? 4 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,300 We have told him not to do it. 5 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,300 [gunshot] (Forrest) Ohh... 6 00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:23,897 Life--it's literally all we have. 7 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:25,430 But is it any good? 8 00:00:25,433 --> 00:00:27,273 I'm a reviewer, but I don't review 9 00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:28,927 food, books, or movies. 10 00:00:28,933 --> 00:00:31,003 I review life itself. 11 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,600 [screams] 12 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,530 [triumphant music] 13 00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:36,233 [parrot squawks] 14 00:00:36,233 --> 00:00:39,773 * 15 00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:41,067 Over here. 16 00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:45,127 * 17 00:00:48,133 --> 00:00:50,633 - Forrest. - Hmm? Oh. 18 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,133 Yes. 19 00:00:52,133 --> 00:00:53,533 Hello. 20 00:00:53,533 --> 00:00:55,673 How's it going, Forrest? 21 00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:57,667 Pretty bad. 22 00:00:57,667 --> 00:01:00,397 Ever since our last episode, I... 23 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,170 just been having this recurring nightmare 24 00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:03,167 where I-- 25 00:01:03,167 --> 00:01:05,327 I shake a magic 8-ball toy 26 00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:08,573 and the lifeless head of my victim bobs up... 27 00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:10,727 into the portal. 28 00:01:10,733 --> 00:01:13,103 As if to say, 29 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:15,370 "Outlook not so good." 30 00:01:16,433 --> 00:01:18,203 Okay. 31 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,570 First up comes Sharon 32 00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:22,567 from Inverness, Florida. 33 00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:23,967 The Sunshine State. 34 00:01:23,967 --> 00:01:25,727 When my parents read my new poem about 35 00:01:25,733 --> 00:01:27,803 a butterfly nostalgic for its caterpillar days, 36 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,100 they sent me to a shrink who wrote me 37 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:31,770 a Lexapro prescription. 38 00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:33,497 I mean, what, am I just gonna be, like, 39 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,370 happy all the time? 40 00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:36,867 What's that like? 41 00:01:36,867 --> 00:01:38,867 Oh. Re--oh. 42 00:01:38,867 --> 00:01:40,867 Wow. Okay. 43 00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,267 - That's a big relief. - Mm-hmm. 44 00:01:42,267 --> 00:01:43,567 I mean, that could've been anything. 45 00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:45,297 "What's it like to be happy all the time?" 46 00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:47,270 - I like that one. - Uh-huh. 47 00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:48,797 I don't know what's in store for me now, 48 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,730 but it hardly matters 'cause no matter what it is, 49 00:01:50,733 --> 00:01:54,073 I'm gonna be happy. All the time. 50 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:57,327 (Forrest voice-over) Even for someone who isn't constantly thinking 51 00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:59,103 about the human being he killed, 52 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,900 it can be difficult to maintain 53 00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:02,370 a constant state of happiness. 54 00:02:02,367 --> 00:02:05,427 Lucille, do you see that the sun is shining today? 55 00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:08,533 Yeah. Did you read the article that says our sunscreen 56 00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:10,073 is totally ineffective? 57 00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:12,097 Happily, no. No, I did not. 58 00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,230 We're all gonna die of skin cancer. 59 00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:16,473 I'll send you the link. 60 00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:19,297 Always happy to receive a link. [chuckles] 61 00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:21,730 (Forrest voice-over) The world has a way of trying to bring people down, 62 00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:24,503 but a happy person finds solutions to little problems 63 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,370 like the deadly rays of the sun. 64 00:02:26,367 --> 00:02:28,527 Why don't the two of you go out and find me 65 00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:31,203 a parasol? Huh? 66 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,870 Oh, I don't know how to do that. 67 00:02:32,867 --> 00:02:34,327 That's great because now you have a chance 68 00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,933 to learn something, right? 69 00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:38,103 Hey, and while you're at it, 70 00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,330 you know what else would make me happy? 71 00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:40,833 Uh...get me a treat. 72 00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:42,233 Like a sweet treat. [smacks lips] 73 00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:46,403 That will make me happy. Thank you so much. 74 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,400 [whistles] Hey. 75 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,300 (Forrest voice-over) Being happy about everything the universe brought my way 76 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,970 was clearly a bizarre way to go through life. 77 00:02:53,967 --> 00:02:55,397 Hey, Lucille, look who found 78 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,570 some effective sunscreen after all. 79 00:02:57,567 --> 00:02:59,467 (Forrest voice-over) And it was made all the more complicated 80 00:02:59,467 --> 00:03:01,827 but a surprise visit from my ex-wife. 81 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,973 Oh, Suzanne. Oh, wow. 82 00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:05,297 Oh, great. Okay. 83 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,070 Could you put the parasol down? 84 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:09,897 - I'd be happy to. - I just want to sit and talk. 85 00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:11,470 - Oh. - The thing is, Forrest... 86 00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:13,667 - Uh-huh. - I've decided that what would 87 00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,667 be best for me, and for Eric-- 88 00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:17,197 would be best for both of us, 89 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,070 - Mm-hmm. - Is if we were to have... 90 00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:21,697 a little break from you 91 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:25,170 and whatever effect that you may be having on our lives. 92 00:03:25,167 --> 00:03:27,067 (Forrest voice-over) This was terrible news, 93 00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:29,127 but given the parameters of this review, 94 00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:31,473 there was only one way to react. 95 00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:36,097 [chuckles] 96 00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:39,633 - Yay. [laughs] - Yay? 97 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:41,473 Well, yeah. I think it's-- 98 00:03:41,467 --> 00:03:42,967 - I think that's great. - You do? 99 00:03:42,967 --> 00:03:44,727 I do. I do, I do, I do, I do. 100 00:03:44,733 --> 00:03:46,633 - [laughs] - Oh, okay, 101 00:03:46,633 --> 00:03:48,303 'cause I-I-- you know, I'm surprised. 102 00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:50,630 I thought you were gonna, like, literally freak out 103 00:03:50,633 --> 00:03:52,173 and start, like, throwing things 104 00:03:52,167 --> 00:03:53,327 - and... - [laughs] 105 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,233 No, I can see why that's a good idea. 106 00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:56,673 - Okay. Okay. - Yeah. 107 00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:58,827 Well, good, because I-- what I would like to do... 108 00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:01,073 - Uh-huh? - Is for you to waive 109 00:04:01,067 --> 00:04:02,627 all of your visitation rights 110 00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:05,773 and have no contact with us at all. 111 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:10,633 Bye-bye, visitation rights. 112 00:04:10,633 --> 00:04:13,103 - [chuckles] - Are you okay? 113 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,830 - Yeah. Yup. - What is this? 114 00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:16,073 Are you on something, or... 115 00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:17,627 No, I'm not on anything, I'm just-- 116 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,533 I'm just-- What you're saying 117 00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:21,173 - makes me happy. - It does? 118 00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:22,397 It does. It really makes me happy. 119 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,130 To not see me and Eric at all? 120 00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:27,533 Um, how long were you thinking for the break? 121 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:30,173 Well, I was thinking something around two months. 122 00:04:30,167 --> 00:04:32,167 For starters. With no contact... 123 00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:33,727 (Forrest voice-over) If I weren't so very happy, 124 00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:35,933 I might have begged her to change her mind. 125 00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:37,973 - Hooray. - Hooray? 126 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:40,167 Yes. See, I think two months is gonna go by 127 00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:41,567 just like that! [laughs] 128 00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:43,067 (Forrest voice-over) And the happy news kept coming. 129 00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,427 (man) Are you Forrest MacNeil? - Yes, I am. 130 00:04:44,433 --> 00:04:45,673 Stand up and put your hands behind your head. 131 00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:46,897 You're under arrest for homicide. 132 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,070 - Okay, uh... - What's happening? 133 00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:49,167 (Suzanne) Homicide? - Stand up. 134 00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:50,367 Put your hands behind your head. 135 00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:51,527 (Suzanne) Forrest, what did you do? 136 00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:52,773 Yay! It's great to hear my rights. 137 00:04:52,767 --> 00:04:54,267 You have the right to remain silent... 138 00:04:54,267 --> 00:04:55,427 There they go. I'm so glad for the Constitution. 139 00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:56,573 You have the right to an attorney. 140 00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:57,667 I'm so glad we got rid of the king... 141 00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:59,067 If you cannot afford an attorney... 142 00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:00,427 - So we have rights now. - One will be provided for you. 143 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:01,533 (Suzanne) Forrest, did you kill somebody? 144 00:05:01,533 --> 00:05:02,803 I will see you in two months, Suzanne! 145 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,130 Forrest! 146 00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:07,133 (Forrest) I get to take a ride in a police car! 147 00:05:07,133 --> 00:05:10,173 (Forrest voice-over) Somewhere in the process of being charged with murder, 148 00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:11,727 interrogated, arraigned, 149 00:05:11,733 --> 00:05:13,733 and transferred to the County Jail, 150 00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:16,433 I decided to put life reviewing on hold 151 00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:19,433 until this very serious matter could be resolved. 152 00:05:19,433 --> 00:05:20,603 What are you doing? 153 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,470 They gave us permission to shoot here. 154 00:05:22,467 --> 00:05:25,227 (Forrest voice-over) Then I got a visit from my producer, Grant. 155 00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:27,173 You wanna kee-- 156 00:05:28,467 --> 00:05:29,827 You wanna keep doing the show? 157 00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:31,733 - Oh, yes. - No, I can't-- 158 00:05:31,733 --> 00:05:34,073 Sorry, I can't... think about that right now. 159 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,127 You know, if I'm convicted, I'm looking at life in prison. 160 00:05:36,133 --> 00:05:39,873 - Okay? - I need you to look at life... 161 00:05:39,867 --> 00:05:42,067 in prison. 162 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:43,767 I need to be totally focused on 163 00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:46,067 getting the [bleep] out of here. 164 00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:48,067 Okay? Can you help me with that, please? 165 00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:49,067 I thought-- I had thought you were here 166 00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:50,227 to bail me out or something. 167 00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:51,773 So you wanna stop the show now? 168 00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:53,597 At this point it is making 169 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,100 for incredible television. 170 00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:58,430 I just--Grant, I need to go home. 171 00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:00,503 Okay? Or back to the office. 172 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,370 Forrest, look, where this gets done 173 00:06:03,367 --> 00:06:05,527 is less important than who does it. 174 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:08,803 Everyone is so grateful for the sacrifices 175 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,100 that you make. 176 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,870 They look up to you, they're inspired by you. 177 00:06:12,867 --> 00:06:15,967 (Forrest voice-over) What Grant was proposing sounded completely unreasonable, 178 00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:18,097 but his argument was compelling. 179 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,430 Oh, my God, do you remember how amazing 180 00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,073 you were at the orgy? 181 00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,327 - Well, yeah, I mean... - Let me tell you something, 182 00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:24,233 the footage from Happiness, makes that look like 183 00:06:24,233 --> 00:06:25,803 the saddest [bleep]-fest ever. 184 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,800 - It's making me feel happy. - Oh. 185 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,170 That's the effect it's having. 186 00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:32,067 Yeah, it felt great and then they arrested me. 187 00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:34,597 So, imagine people seeing you here in prison. 188 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,970 How inspiring it will be to people. 189 00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:39,867 Don't let the people down. 190 00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:44,933 (Forrest voice-over) Once again I was reminded that there were people out there 191 00:06:44,933 --> 00:06:47,273 and they count on me to do this work. 192 00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:50,597 I could not give up just because I happen to be in jail. 193 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,430 Grant had given me the juicer 194 00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:55,973 to take prison and turn it in to prisonade. 195 00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:58,927 Trying to be happy all the time led me to the thought, 196 00:06:58,933 --> 00:07:02,073 "How much control do we have over our emotional life?" 197 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:04,167 Is it something that we receive helplessly, 198 00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:05,597 like the weather, or is it something 199 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,670 - that we can control? - Like the weather. 200 00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:10,267 Uh, no, my point was that the weather 201 00:07:10,267 --> 00:07:12,167 is something that you can't control. 202 00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:13,627 But what if you move to Hawaii? 203 00:07:15,767 --> 00:07:18,727 Yeah, that would be a way of controlling the weather. 204 00:07:18,733 --> 00:07:21,333 [clears throat] Constant happiness may seem like 205 00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:23,773 the most absurd way to live, but it is also, 206 00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:26,467 perhaps, the least absurd way to live. 207 00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:28,397 And, so, I give it... 208 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,597 - Three stars. - Zing. 209 00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:37,927 What is next for me, A.J.? 210 00:07:37,933 --> 00:07:42,133 Hmm, Donnie from Laurinburg, North Carolina 211 00:07:42,133 --> 00:07:45,603 wrote: "Dear Forrest, my upbringing was very strict, 212 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,400 "we weren't even allowed to drink milk because Father said 213 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,600 "it reminded him of tantalizing breasts. 214 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,170 "I've since grown up and had milk, of course, 215 00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:56,067 "but I've still never had a pillow fight. 216 00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:57,927 What's that like?" 217 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,170 So, ignore all the milk stuff, 218 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:03,297 but what's it like to have a pillow fight? 219 00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,170 Am I understanding what you said there? 220 00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:06,927 Sounds like it. 221 00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:08,373 Zing. 222 00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:09,727 [buzzer alarms] 223 00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:11,173 (Forrest voice-over) Unlike most pillow fights, 224 00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:13,397 this one would have to take place in a County jail 225 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,800 where I was awaiting trial for murder. 226 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,330 I requested a meeting with the prison psychiatrist. 227 00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:19,873 You wanted to see me for something? 228 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,827 Yes, I think I have figured out a way 229 00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:25,703 to reform the chronically violent. 230 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:27,700 I want to organize a pillow fight. 231 00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:29,200 And I know that sounds crazy, 232 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,500 but the idea is that it could divert 233 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:35,070 everyone's aggressive feelings into harmless fun. 234 00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:36,467 So what do you say? 235 00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:39,827 May be worth a shot. 236 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,530 Is that a yes? 237 00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:46,373 (Forrest voice-over) Apparently that was a yes because later that day 238 00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:48,097 a guards versus prisoners 239 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,430 pillow fight received official approval. 240 00:08:50,433 --> 00:08:52,603 Did you see that? We're gonna have a pillow fight on Tuesday. 241 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,530 You are all cordially invited 242 00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:58,233 to a prisoners versus guards pillow fight. 243 00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,503 It's gonna be a little bit fun. 244 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,230 [laughs] I'm pretty sure. 245 00:09:02,233 --> 00:09:04,773 (Forrest voice-over) The life of an accused murderer behind bars 246 00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:06,767 is a lonely and frightening one. 247 00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,197 This pillow fight seemed like a good opportunity 248 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,500 to get to know people and to take my mind 249 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,170 off of the terrible guilt that was consuming me. 250 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:16,067 This pillow fight was MacNeil's suggestion, 251 00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:17,397 so let's all thank him for coming up with 252 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,570 a new activity for you all. 253 00:09:18,567 --> 00:09:20,327 [applause] - It's my pleasure. 254 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:22,133 All right, MacNeil, this is your baby. 255 00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:24,473 - You wanna start us off? - Well, I mean, listen, 256 00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:25,797 the great thing about a pillow fight 257 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,870 is the simplicity of it. My question for you is: 258 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,367 "Hey, who is ready to feel like a kid again?" 259 00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:32,167 [laughs] Okay. 260 00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:34,067 The other thing that I want to tell you about pillow fights, 261 00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:36,327 just so you're aware, 262 00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:38,173 is that in a pillow fight, you never know 263 00:09:38,167 --> 00:09:41,167 when you might get a sneak-attack. 264 00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:43,897 [laughs] I surprised you, right? 265 00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,570 See that? Okay... 266 00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:47,067 Well, come on, now. Oh, ay, ay, ay, ay. 267 00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:49,067 Let's all join in. All right? 268 00:09:49,067 --> 00:09:51,097 Let's have a pillow fight! 269 00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,830 [laughs] 270 00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,733 - [grunts] - Oh, [bleep]! 271 00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:57,973 - [groans] - Hey, hey, hey! 272 00:09:57,967 --> 00:10:00,797 [grunting, groaning] 273 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,330 They're [bleep]ing weighted! 274 00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:04,273 (Forrest voice-over) I had not considered that 275 00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:07,327 while these men may have been novices at pillow fighting... 276 00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:08,733 (Forrest) Where did the weights come from? 277 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,173 (Forrest voice-over) They had expertise at smuggling 278 00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:12,297 items into places they did not belong. 279 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:13,630 Stop it! Stop it! 280 00:10:13,633 --> 00:10:14,733 (Forrest voice-over) Places like prisons... 281 00:10:14,733 --> 00:10:16,773 and pillowcases. 282 00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:19,467 The resulting melee was a terrifying horror 283 00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:21,827 - to behold. - You set us up, MacNeil! 284 00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:23,503 - What? I didn't do anything! - Oh, you did! 285 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,230 [screams] 286 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,533 - [electricity crackles] - [screams] 287 00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:30,473 [police siren blaring] 288 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,173 Was it darkness within the hearts 289 00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:37,967 of the pillow fighters that turned innocent 290 00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:40,367 sleeping equipment into improvised... 291 00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:43,997 deadly weapons? 292 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,470 Or is pillow fighting a twisted bloodsport 293 00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:49,927 in disguise, a feather-stuffed form 294 00:10:49,933 --> 00:10:53,173 of combat that inspires brutality in otherwise 295 00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:54,627 gentle creatures? 296 00:10:54,633 --> 00:10:56,073 No way to know for sure. 297 00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:58,897 What I do know is that my dreams of world peace 298 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:02,970 and my nose were shattered together in one fell swoop. 299 00:11:02,967 --> 00:11:06,197 And, so, I am forced to give pillow-fighting... 300 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,630 just one--oh, sorry. 301 00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:11,273 I want to get the plies together. 302 00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:13,627 Toilet paper. 303 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,830 - One star. - Zing. 304 00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:19,503 What is my next review, A.J.? 305 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:20,500 - Okay... - Mm-hmm. 306 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,130 The next one was Tweeted to us 307 00:11:22,133 --> 00:11:25,133 from @CrazySonOfABeth. 308 00:11:25,133 --> 00:11:27,273 "Dear Forrest, our six year old recently 309 00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:29,467 "told us about her imaginary friend. 310 00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:31,527 "We haven't liked any of her real friends 311 00:11:31,533 --> 00:11:34,173 "and are worried we're not gonna like this one, either. 312 00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:36,427 What's it like to have an imaginary friend?" 313 00:11:36,433 --> 00:11:38,073 - Ooh...yikes. - Oh. 314 00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:40,397 Well, I'm not afraid of that. 315 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,900 What's it like to have an imaginary friend? 316 00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:44,730 I will find out and I'll let you know. 317 00:11:44,733 --> 00:11:46,873 (Forrest voice-over) I had been feeling oppressively alone 318 00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:48,797 and plagued by dark thoughts, 319 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,230 so I was greatly relieved that this review 320 00:11:51,233 --> 00:11:52,803 gave me someone to talk to. 321 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,370 I got bad news. You fell right into my trap. 322 00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:56,967 (Forrest voice-over) I named him Clovers. 323 00:11:56,967 --> 00:12:00,227 He was kind, respectful, and admiring. 324 00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:01,873 We hit it off beautifully. 325 00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:03,527 Oh, yeah. I guess I am pretty good at this. 326 00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:05,503 Thank you. That's nice of you to say it. 327 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,300 (Forrest voice-over) We shared the same sense of humor. 328 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:10,430 I don't know. How does Yoda order a pizza? 329 00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:13,873 Oh. [laughing] 330 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,067 You're gonna get in trouble for that. 331 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,697 I would never tell a joke like that. 332 00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:17,830 [laughing] 333 00:12:17,833 --> 00:12:19,473 That's a good one. 334 00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:21,067 (Forrest voice-over) We trusted each other completely, 335 00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:22,867 and confided in one another. 336 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,567 Yeah, so then she tells me that she wants a two month break 337 00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:26,897 from me contacting her. 338 00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:28,630 Hey, I don't even know your situation. 339 00:12:28,633 --> 00:12:30,233 Are you single? Married or... 340 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:32,633 [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]. 341 00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:34,773 I'm actually not talking to you. 342 00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:37,727 I'm talking to Clovers, okay? 343 00:12:37,733 --> 00:12:39,673 Kind of nosy. [chuckles] 344 00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,267 (Forrest voice-over) Perhaps after all I'd been through, 345 00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:43,127 I was not thinking clearly, 346 00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:45,133 but this imaginary person had come to mean 347 00:12:45,133 --> 00:12:46,633 a great deal to me. 348 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:50,203 I set out to be the best friend I could ever be to anyone. 349 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,500 I would like you all to meet my new friend Clovers 350 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:54,800 who is gonna be joining us for lunch. 351 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,230 Okay? 352 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,303 You must have got hit in the head pretty hard, MacNeil. 353 00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,700 There's no one there, man. 354 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,070 They're just hazing the new guy. 355 00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:03,227 Forget about it, Clovers. Just ignore 'em. 356 00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:04,503 Hi, what are you doing? Excuse me. 357 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:05,970 No, no. Hey. Whoa, no, no, no. Excuse me. 358 00:13:05,967 --> 00:13:08,127 Sorry, no. You're sitting on Clovers. 359 00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:10,073 [bleep] [bleep], who's Clovers? 360 00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:11,897 Clovers, my best friend, and you're sitting on him. 361 00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,530 Right now, he's sitting there. This is Clover's seat. 362 00:13:13,533 --> 00:13:15,173 I need you to get up and go sit someplace else. 363 00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:17,427 [laughter] 364 00:13:17,433 --> 00:13:19,333 Will you please get off of my friend now? 365 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,903 No, he's real comfy. 366 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:23,530 Get off of-- get off of my friend. 367 00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:25,903 - Oh, [bleep]! - Hey, hey, hey! 368 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,370 - [bleep]! - It's okay, it's okay. 369 00:13:27,367 --> 00:13:28,667 Who wants some alone time, huh? 370 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:29,967 It's okay, everything's fine. 371 00:13:29,967 --> 00:13:32,067 Clovers has very generously offered you his seat, 372 00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:34,627 so you can sit there, and then I, in turn, 373 00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:36,933 will offer Clovers my seat. He's sitting there. 374 00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:38,133 And then I'm happy to stand. 375 00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:40,073 - Sit down. - No, the table's full. 376 00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:42,067 Oh, really? Shut the [bleep] up. Sit down. 377 00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:45,197 Uh, he can stand. He's gonna stand. 378 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,270 Hey, Clovers, question: What are you in for? 379 00:13:48,267 --> 00:13:49,967 (Forrest voice-over) My insistence that Clovers exist 380 00:13:49,967 --> 00:13:53,727 in the imagination of others had unintended consequences. 381 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,273 You murdered your last best friend 382 00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:57,297 - just like you always do. - Uh-oh. 383 00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:58,800 Watch your back, MacNeil. 384 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,830 (Forrest voice-over) Imaginations don't always agree. 385 00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:02,073 You're gonna [bleep] MacNeil's mouth 386 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,367 before you slice him up and kill him? 387 00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:05,527 (all) Oh! [laughter] 388 00:14:05,533 --> 00:14:07,403 When you say [bleep] my mouth, 389 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,370 you just mean have a conversation, right? Yeah. 390 00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,067 (Forrest voice-over) I was now locked in a checkers match 391 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,067 to control the story of my friend. 392 00:14:17,967 --> 00:14:19,927 Oh, Clovers, just like that. 393 00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:22,973 Hey, hey, hey. You got to leave Clovers alone. 394 00:14:22,967 --> 00:14:24,897 First of all, it's none of your business 395 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,070 what Clovers and me do. 396 00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,967 Secondmost, it's his idea. 397 00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:30,297 We're trying to have a gentle, romantic moment here. 398 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,070 Oh! Whoo! 399 00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:34,397 (Forrest voice-over) This inmate, an armed robber named Cassius, 400 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,570 may have started it, 401 00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:37,767 but in no time at all, sex with Clovers 402 00:14:37,767 --> 00:14:41,067 had become the new prison slang for masturbation. 403 00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:42,797 [prisoners shouting] 404 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,470 Everybody all at the same time. How is that even possible? 405 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,497 (Cassius) Get the balls, Clovers. Oh! Oh! 406 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:51,570 (Forrest voice-over) I had now had enough human contact with my fellow prisoners 407 00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:53,927 to know that I much preferred to be left alone 408 00:14:53,933 --> 00:14:55,473 with my imaginary friend. 409 00:14:55,467 --> 00:14:57,597 Hey, Clovers, forget about MacNeil. 410 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,530 Come over here, play a little Connect Fourwith me. 411 00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:02,173 Yeah, Clovers says, "No, thank you," okay? 412 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:03,727 We're having a good time. 413 00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:06,773 Whoa, and here he comes. My man, Clovers. 414 00:15:06,767 --> 00:15:09,067 (Forrest voice-over) It appeared that Clovers had now become a symbol 415 00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:10,797 in a prison yard power struggle. 416 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,900 Cassius wanted to show he could take whatever he wanted from me 417 00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:15,300 whenever he wanted. 418 00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,200 Oh, Clovers, that was mean. 419 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,200 You just tricked Cassius that you were gonna go play with him, 420 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,300 and now you're coming back here to play checkers with me. 421 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,100 Oh! Oh, snap! 422 00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:26,230 You were only tricking MacNeil 423 00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:28,203 into thinking that you were tricking me. 424 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,670 That's a double cross. 425 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,727 You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Clovers. 426 00:15:32,733 --> 00:15:35,303 The triple cross? Unbelievable! 427 00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:36,970 I mean, he really, really thought 428 00:15:36,967 --> 00:15:38,167 that you were gonna play Connect Four. 429 00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:39,927 Quadruple cross! 430 00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:41,103 And what are you doing? 431 00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:43,070 Putting an electromagnet in your pants 432 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,567 so you can't get up off of this metal seat? 433 00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:47,567 Five cross? Unbelievable. 434 00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:49,067 And the magnet doesn't work. 435 00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:50,927 I understand you have to stay in contact 436 00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,473 with him so you can eventually murder him. 437 00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:54,127 Maybe you're intimidated, you feel like you have to 438 00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:55,633 go over there but there's no reason for that. 439 00:15:55,633 --> 00:15:57,133 Guys like this are all bluster. 440 00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:59,603 What you really would like to do is dance? 441 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,570 - Come on. - Be careful. Leave me alone. 442 00:16:01,567 --> 00:16:03,227 [laughs] 443 00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:04,473 Dance-off, MacNeil. 444 00:16:04,467 --> 00:16:06,797 Oh, get 'em, Cas. 445 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,600 [laughter] 446 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,730 Pardon me, may I cut in? 447 00:16:09,733 --> 00:16:11,773 - Thank you, yes. - Oh! 448 00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,367 Come here, buddy. 449 00:16:13,367 --> 00:16:14,927 Oh, you don't like that style of dance? 450 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:17,433 Oh, traditional Irish step-dancing? 451 00:16:17,433 --> 00:16:18,803 I don't know but I'll try. 452 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,070 Oh, you're really good at it. Look at you. 453 00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:21,967 Nobody likes feeling like a leprechaun. 454 00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:23,127 Time for break dancing? 455 00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:24,733 Oh, break it out, MacNeil. 456 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,833 Who thinks that Clovers wants to be my best friend? 457 00:16:26,833 --> 00:16:28,833 - Yeah! - Looks like he made his choice. 458 00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:30,233 - Then circled the table. - He made his choice. 459 00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:31,573 - We're gonna play checkers. - Taking a lap 460 00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:33,227 to think about it. Here he comes around here. 461 00:16:33,233 --> 00:16:34,773 - Look it. There he goes. - The rude faces you're making. 462 00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:35,827 Oh! He just put a yellow in! 463 00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:37,103 Oh! He didn't do that [bleep]. 464 00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:38,270 - You put that yellow there. - [shouting] 465 00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:39,397 [guard blows whistle] 466 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,270 - You put it there. - [shouting] 467 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,267 Visiting hours. 468 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,267 MacNeil. 469 00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,627 You got one. 470 00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:46,073 - [bleep]. - There he goes. 471 00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:47,097 [shouting] - There he goes. 472 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,430 [laughs] 473 00:16:48,433 --> 00:16:51,073 - After you. - [bleep]. 474 00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,797 [door buzzes open] 475 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,100 (Forrest voice-over) Having my father see me in a place like this 476 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,400 was sure to be a difficult experience. 477 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,630 And one for which I would need Clovers' emotional support. 478 00:17:00,633 --> 00:17:03,073 Clovers, this is my dad. 479 00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:06,797 Dad, this is Clovers. 480 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,970 Uh, okay. 481 00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:12,297 Hello, Clovers. 482 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:13,830 Well, I bailed you out. 483 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:14,973 [sighs] 484 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:17,427 Used the insurance money from the house. 485 00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:19,973 Thank you so much, Dad. 486 00:17:19,967 --> 00:17:22,327 I can't even tell you how terrible it's been in here. 487 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,833 Boy, it's been a crazy year, hasn't it? 488 00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:27,103 - Yeah. - You know? 489 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,500 You picked a fight with that guy 490 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,900 for absolutely no reason, and got shot, and nearly died. 491 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,070 Yeah. 492 00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:34,297 You broke up with that nurse 493 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:37,270 in a way that she fired a gun into the house. 494 00:17:37,267 --> 00:17:39,297 And then you burned down the house. 495 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,900 And you broke up with another girl 496 00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:42,570 in a way that she fired an RPG 497 00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:43,897 and blew up theother house. 498 00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:44,970 - An RPG. Yes. - Yeah. 499 00:17:44,967 --> 00:17:46,427 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. Yeah. 500 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:49,403 Then you asked me fire a bunch of arrows at you 501 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,900 - and I did. [laughter] 502 00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,530 Scared the hell out of me, you know? 503 00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:56,633 And then you got lost at sea for three months. 504 00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:58,633 - Yeah. - I never gave up hope. 505 00:17:58,633 --> 00:18:02,303 Through it all, I told myself, "Forrest is a good boy. 506 00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:04,200 He always has been." 507 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,970 But now a man is dead and you're charged with killing him. 508 00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:13,203 What are your values, son? 509 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,070 Did I raise you to have values 510 00:18:15,067 --> 00:18:17,297 where it's okay to kill somebody? 511 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,930 I hope not. 512 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,133 So I'm out. 513 00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:25,633 I just need to take care of myself now. 514 00:18:25,633 --> 00:18:27,603 What are you talking about? 515 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,500 Good luck, Forrest. 516 00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:32,830 Take care of him, Clovers. 517 00:18:35,767 --> 00:18:38,667 (Forrest voice-over) And just like that, my dad was gone. 518 00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:41,727 I would need Clovers' kindness, support, and humor, 519 00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:43,303 now more than ever before. 520 00:18:48,433 --> 00:18:51,373 (Forrest voice-over) Having been shockingly abandoned by my ex-wife and now my father, 521 00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:54,627 Clovers was the only friend I had left in the world. 522 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,733 I just wanted to tell you that-- 523 00:18:56,733 --> 00:19:00,073 (Forrest voice-over) And leaving jail meant I'd be saying good-bye to him too. 524 00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:01,267 You know, I just wanna tell you 525 00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:02,797 how much your loyalty means to me. 526 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,970 I hope that you feel like I've been as loyal to you 527 00:19:04,967 --> 00:19:06,827 as you have been to me 'cause that's really what friendship 528 00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:08,873 is more than anything. 529 00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:11,267 You think you're pretty slick, huh, MacNeil? 530 00:19:11,267 --> 00:19:13,567 Stealing your best friend back from me. 531 00:19:13,567 --> 00:19:15,067 Okay, guys, I have explained to you-- 532 00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:17,727 No more talk, McNeil. 533 00:19:17,733 --> 00:19:21,233 If Clovers isn't my friend, he's nobody's friend. 534 00:19:21,233 --> 00:19:22,433 - [grunting] - What are you doing? 535 00:19:22,433 --> 00:19:25,133 No! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! No, no, no! 536 00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:26,733 Playtime is over, MacNeil. 537 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:29,533 Watch your ass or you're next. 538 00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:30,473 [grunts] 539 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,170 Clovers, I got to get you to the doctor right now. 540 00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:37,367 (Cassius) He's dead, MacNeil, we stabbed him in the heart. 541 00:19:37,367 --> 00:19:39,297 [somber music] [weeping] 542 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:41,330 Oh, no. 543 00:19:41,333 --> 00:19:43,303 Oh, God, Clovers. 544 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:46,070 (Forrest voice-over) Of all the things this show had taken from me, 545 00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:48,397 the loss of Clovers, who had understood 546 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,870 and accepted me completely, felt like the greatest tragedy 547 00:19:51,867 --> 00:19:53,167 of them all. 548 00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:56,527 It was real and totally irreversible. 549 00:19:56,533 --> 00:20:00,233 And it revealed to me the utter pointlessness and cruelty 550 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:03,773 of everything that my life had become. 551 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,297 What the hell are you doing? 552 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,630 They killed Clovers. 553 00:20:07,633 --> 00:20:10,373 Come on, it's time to go. You're out. 554 00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:12,097 You just gonna leave him there? 555 00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:14,030 (Forrest voice-over) When I began my imaginary friendship, 556 00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:16,873 I saw it as as an imaginary two-way street 557 00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,167 between Clovers and me. 558 00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:19,927 But soon, it came to feel more like 559 00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:23,473 an imaginary chaotic multi-street intersection 560 00:20:23,467 --> 00:20:27,427 with traffic laws so Byzantine and confusing 561 00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:29,433 it's hard to imagine the result being anything 562 00:20:29,433 --> 00:20:33,073 but bloody and tragic mayhem. 563 00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:35,367 In other words, imaginary friendship turned out to be 564 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:36,997 one holy mess. 565 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,200 And yet, Clovers did keep my loneliness at bay. 566 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,830 So I give having an imaginary friend three stars. 567 00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:46,703 [triumphant music] 568 00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:49,000 Well, that's all the time we have for Review. 569 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000 Good night. 570 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:50,930 Good night and good dreams. 571 00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:02,797 I don't know, why don't giraffes eat lollipops? 572 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,200 I give up. Why not? 573 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,200 [laughs] 574 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,200 That's silly. 575 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,130 [laughs] You're really funny.